I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
