Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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