I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
