Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
