My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
