How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
