I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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