We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
