She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We are all done wearing pants today
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
