He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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