Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Mom said you looked used
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
