HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
