he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
