i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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