I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
