im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
