Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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