there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Damn victory sex feels great
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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