plz talk dirty to me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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