Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
