i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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