Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
