Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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