The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
