Whatcha textin bout Willis?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
