I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
