he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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