There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
