Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
