tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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