There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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