i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
