Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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