I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
