Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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