We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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