Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
