whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Duck Duck Cougar?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
