Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm having to shit out rocks
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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