I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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