dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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