what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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