return my video game
Your tits are I can't wait for
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
