guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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