So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
