Sacagawea was the original milf.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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