After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
