I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
