I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
