You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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